Our Journey

Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

Fairytales

Do you believe in fairly tales? Do you have a special love story? Does that fairytale love story ever come true?

Our love story began 16 years ago….but you know it wasn’t always like one of those sappy Disney fairytale princess love stories. We have had some ups and some downs but we continue to work and grow together. And who doesn’t like those types of movies/books? We all want to be made to feel special, loved and cherished.

So are we doing a disservice to our children by allowing them to watch/read these stories? Will this dream come true for them or are we setting them up for failure?

Life is not a fairytale. Marriage is work, especially if you want to have that fairytale.  Why is it okay for our kids to see the fairytales on TV but we can’t show them the true meaning of marriage and partnership???

The other day a young lady was telling me that her friends had told her that her standards were too high and if she lowered them she just might be able to get a guy. So is this what we are teaching our kids? To lower their standards? Why is it so important to have a guy by a certain age? My response was NOT to lower your standards, because if your not 100% happy with that relationship then you we never be truly happy. If we teach our girls not to expect the fairytale and the romance then what are we teaching them?

How does your marriage look to your kids? Do they see you working together? Do you go on dates? Have special time with your spouse? Do your children realize that marriage is work?

Society says that if you are not compatible any longer you just have to go down to the courthouse and have a judge say that you are no longer married and then you can try again. Why are so many marriages ending in divorce? Are we teaching our girls that they need a man by a certain age or there is something wrong with them? Are they too young to be making these decisions?

You might agree or disagree with our views on dating but this is how we are raising our children: We feel that they should NOT date exclusively until they are ready to look for their husband. We believe that dating is the prelude to engagement, which is the planning stage for marriage. While dating, that is when you will find out if you are compatible, and make sure your beliefs are the same. We have no problem with guys and girls being friends, and hanging out in groups. We do not believe that middle or even high schoolers should be in an exclusive relationship. Mainly because they do not need that added stress on top of their schooling. They do not need to worried about being pressured into doing something they might not want or be ready for.

So are you living your fairytale? My fairytale wasn’t always a fairytale, but TRUE LOVE does exist. That knight in shining armor does exist. The hero that saves the day and gets the girl, really does!

Don’t let those fairytales fade away! Show a young girl, your fairytale!!

Wishing you many Blessings Rainbow

“I Do”

Are you married? Do you remember planning for your wedding?

It seems as though it was only yesterday that my hubby proposed to me and I was able to start planning for our special day. I was so excited to plan our wedding.

I called the church to make sure our date was available, and to see what we need to do to be able to be married in the church. I ended up having many conversations with the church secretary about our wedding.

I contacted the hall for the reception, I called for prices on food. Planned the menu. Ordered the cake. Got a DJ and planned the music. Picked out our colors and picked out the dress. Ordered the tuxes and went over books and books of flowers.

We meet with the priest (we were married in the Catholic Church), we went on a marriage retreat (required for the church). Pick out the music for the ceremony.

Through all of these plans I was making, there were a few things that I never really planned or researched. The Vows! I never really paid much attention to our vows. There was 1 word that I knew I didn’t want in our vows…OBEY!! At 19, I was not going to say I will obey my husband. So we decided to omit that from our vows. So this is what our vows looked like:

   I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

When we stand in front of our family and friends and recite these vows, we are expressing our love for each other. We are on cloud 9 and just want to share our love for each other with everyone. We tend not to really dwell on the vows, but we should! It seems as though marriage is no longer sacred. It is easily thrown away.

When we say “I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward” you are entering into a legal binding contract with your spouse.

For better or for worse; We tend to lean toward the better part, never wanting to imagine that our marriage will have struggles because you know we love each other, we communicate, we never fight!

For richer, for poorer; most couples never even talk about money until the wedding is over and this tends to be one of the top reasons for the arguments in a marriage.

In sickness and in health; when we are young and in love we don’t think about a time when we might become sick. But this is another hot topic most marriages struggle with when there is an illness presented.

To love and to cherish (obey);Loving is easy, you wouldn’t be getting married if you didn’t love each other but obey now that is a tough one. Obey means to follow the commands or guidance of: And we think who wants to obey someone who is to be our equal? We have parents, we don’t need another.

From this day forward until death do us part; so begins the legal binding contract from that day until the day you die. Not till I am mad at you because….., too easily we find excuses for why a marriage doesn’t last.

14 years after saying “I Do” to my groom, I now have a better understanding to our wedding vows and yes I do OBEY my husband. I am thankful that the Lord brought us together. We have had ups and we have had downs, sometimes life has been a bowl of cherries and sometimes it was only the pits. But through all of it the Lord continued to work in each of us so that we would be ready to accept His guidance and wisdom so that our marriage will grow to glorify Him!! I married my best friend, the love of my life and together with Christ I am thankful that I am able to continue and actively fulfill my part of our vows.

We need to actively teach our children the importance of wedding vows. We need to SHOW them that marriage does work and that it is a JOY even when circumstance are bleak. We need to PROTECT this sacred union between a man and women.

How do you show your kids the benefits of marriage? Do you go on dates? Do you express your love for each other in front of them?

 

Wishing you many BlessingsRainbow

p.s. Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband!!!Red heart 

PDA

A friend of mine was told that she praised or loved her husband too much. She had taken a 31 day challenge and was writing a status on FB everyday that expressed her love and gratitude towards her husband. When I heard this, it broke my heart, because the Bible tells us:

Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.  Titus 2:4-5

The Bible  clearly tells us that we should show/encourage/urge others to love their husbands and children.

Prior to this, I was one that would say the PDA’s (public displays of affection) needed to be kept behind closed doors. But as I have grown and become a wife and a mother I have come to realize that certain PDA’s are private and others should be public. How can we teach our children to love others if we don’t show them how to love? Why is it ok to publicly blast your husband on FB but its not ok to publicly express your love? 

Wishing you many Blessings Rainbow

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